rejection therapy day 15 -december 13th
Those who are paying attention, and I would be surprised if there were any of you, will have noticed I had no post yesterday. Unfortunately I was just too busy getting a job application ready for a deadline and then finishing some design work for today. This meant I spent the day in front of my computer and while I loathed this it helped me ponder a few things in comparison to what happened today.
I will write my thoughts down below the rejection therapy day and Street Portraits Project. You are free to read them if you like, but really it is just a chance to get my thoughts out of my head especially now that I am the half way mark of Rejection Therapy.
Rejection Therapy
I asked some people today for their photos and once again got no rejections :( Details who those generous folk are detailed in the Street Portraits section. Failed Rejection
I did my trial day for a Barista and tried to make the most of it. I tried to get as involved as I could, looking if I could make a coffee. I tried…but it wasn’t too impressive. While my efforts were far below the usual Barista standards, I wanted to see if I could get at least a decent latte out before the end of my trial. I asked if I could make a coffee again, they said yes (Failed Rejection), again the coffee was below standard. I asked if I could make it again, they said yes (Failed Rejection), yet again the coffee was below stand. I was then told to do some other jobs…probably just to get me away from making another coffee, but I have an urge to get that Latte right!
I met up with a friend, Sammi, who works in a watch shop. I asked if I could have a watch for free, she said no, although this is not a genuine rejection as I had just told Sammi about Rejection Therapy and she set me up…although this fake rejection was then counterbalanced by Sammi allowing me to take her portrait. Right on. Failed Rejection
Entering a building to meet another friend, I saw a man unloading a bunch of heavy building materials and placing them in the lobby. Since there was a lot and he seemed to be struggling, I asked if I could give a hand and spent the next few minutes giving this guy a hand. Nice bloke too. Failed Rejection
Street Portrait Project #6
Thanks to Sam, Emma and Sammi for sparing a few minutes and letting me take their photo. Below is Sam, who felt inspired to give me a few regal and hopeful poses. I take my hat off to that.
For an explanation of Rejection Therapy see this post
For an explanation of Street Portrait Project see this post
My Flickr
Here are some thoughts that have become apparent, maybe not directly as a result of rejection therapy, but have definitely sprung up as a result of putting myself in these situations. I think it is important to reflect on what has happened, otherwise what is the point of doing this? Although below is really just about getting the thoughts out of my head and for my peace of mind.
For those who bothered to keep with it till here, I welcome you to read on. For those who don’t like reading a person’s internal musings, I wouldn’t advise you give it a skip.
After spending Sunday in front of my computer screen working on my own, as I have done a majority of days for the past year, I was lucky enough to have the welcome change of working as a Barista for a short shift. What has surprised me is that in this trail as a coffee bar worker, which lasted just over an hour, I enjoyed it more than any time I have spent staring at a computer screen. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy working with media, it is that I find no greater pleasure than working with people.
Thinking back to all the media work I have done, whether that is writing, filming or taking photos; it is the meeting of people and collaboration that has always been the most enjoyable part for me. In the majority of my theatre work it was the team work and collaborative environment which I enjoyed the most. Being around people who want to share and create ideas has been what is missing from my life for a long time and it used to be what is most important to me.
At the beginning of this year I started to get the idea that I was a ‘determined’ and ‘driven’ person, that I should be pursuing a career aggressively and push myself to greatness. This made me become a person I didn’t like. I always liked to think that I was a nice guy, but I let myself become selfish, arrogant and dick; doing some extremely dickish things. As a result I lost a friend who was closest to me and severally damaged my other relationships with family and friends; many of which I am still trying to mend fences for now.
Through rejection therapy I am trying to become the guy I was before. I am trying to open myself up again and learn from my mistakes. I didn’t like being a ‘determined’ person, I don’t have the urge to do whatever it takes to be a successful whatever, because I want to spend time with friends, family and those I love. Those are what is most important to me and I would be a fool (although many already think I am) to ever let these things slip away from me again.
Rejection therapy, in the short time I have done it so far, has introduced me to a lot of new people and confirmed my thoughts that I am happiest around others and learning about others’ lives.
From now on I think I am going to look for a simple job with good people, focus on my creative work in my own time and focus the rest of life on just being a good person. I don’t think I could want for any more than that.
If you are reading then thanks. It is probably a load of jibberish, but it has taken me a lot and cost myself, and ever more regrettably others, a lot to come to this realisation. Hopefully you are lucky enough that when you read the above you will think I am an idiot and would have never have made the stupid decisions I have. I am an idiot, I will easily admit that, but I am now trying to be a good idiot.
Rejection therapy day 8 -december 6th
I have been looking to becoming a Barista for a little while and, while it is a job I am sure I would enjoy doing, I have been a little hesitant to pursue the job. I have left a few days than I should in calling back the cafe and not been in hot pursuit of the opportunity. While there is lots about the job I think I would enjoy (the coffee, the people, the environment), what has kept me back is that food customer service and cash taking are areas that I have very little experience.
…but I want a challenge. This is the perfect chance to learn something new and even if I do not get the job it will be an experience. If I make a prat of myself, even better.
I rang the manager, who I had spoken to on several occasions but never solidified a date for a trial, and looking to get something booked. He informed me that due to setbacks in the new store they wouldn’t be taking on staff until January 5th, so maybe I should wait till then. I had my rejection, but I felt unsatisfied. I then proceeded to ask if I could do it an earlier. He sounded confused at first, but then seemed to be appreciative of my willingness and we agreed that I would do a shift next Monday from 12-2, the busy lunch shift on their busiest day. Bring it on. Failed Rejection
I had filled out an application for a job reviewing computer games for a new magazine. They had informed me, after I had completed the application and got through the first round that the job would be unpaid for the first three months. Not impressed at all. Today they rang me stating they were interested about myself and wanted to get to know me better, before that line of getting-to-know-you questioning began, I inquired about whether it was true that if I was successful I would be unpaid for the first three months, he concurred. I politely informed him that I cannot afford to work for free that long, he said that was a shame. I had nothing to lose, so I told him that I would be happy to still go for the job if he changed the rules I was paid from the beginning. He was not impressed and promptly cut the conversation short. WIN! Rejected
Tomorrow, I promise, the boat will be pushed out.
For an explanation of Rejection Therapy see this post
Rejection therapy day 7 - december 5th
Not a great day to be honest, for more some personal reasons, but I did not feel like putting myself out too much.
My one triumph was with a guy who I have trained in the martial art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with for a long time but never really spoken to or got to know. I was aware that he is a far superior photographer to myself, so when I saw he had his camera with him I thought I would break the unintentional vow of silence between us and ask about getting some tips on how to be better. Although this doesn’t seem like much, It is a bit out of my comfort zone, as I am a person who usually likes to do things for myself and be self taught…but that is not the point of rejection therapy and it is something I want to change in myself. So I asked him, he said yes, we got really well and I am going to give him some tips in film making. Score! Failed Rejection
My first week has been pretty gentle to be honest. I realise I really have to push it a bit more. I will give the excuse of a few personal problems have made me reluctant to engage, but I think I am using it as more of a defence than is really true. I want this project to do some good, but I will only get results is I invest myself more and take more risks.
